The Wayward Starlet

Photo Manipulation by Planet Hiltron

I haven't followed this story until today... from what I understand, Miss Lohan fingered a one of a kind necklace at an LA boutique and shortly after, was video taped wearing it. She claims it was loaned to her and promtly sent her assistant to return it -to the cops.
But no dice. Now she faces Grand Felony charges and could be sent up the river again for three years.
The necklace was worth over
Two Thousand Dollars.

I'm no shrink but I have been exposed to a lot of nut jobs. My guess is that this latest stunt was a last ditch effort by her subconscious to return her to the safe and loving arms of a correctional facility. Away from the mind alterants, away from the paparazzi and the attendant pressures of celebritism. More importantly, away from her hideous fame succubus of a mother, everyone's favorite pretend Rockette dancer (AKA the only person on the planet who probably could have helped Lindsay long ago after the first signs of trouble but chose to party with her instead) Dina Lohan.

My advice for Lindsay, if she somehow manages to dodge a prison sentence:
Get away from Dina asap. Don't tell her where you're going, just run and don't look back.
Check into an under the radar rehab facility that's not featured regularly in People or US Weekly.

You're on your way to Frances Farmville, sister, if you don't wise up real soon. You have a load of adoring fans who will always support you - and a handful of people in Hollywood who believe in you.
You're still young.
Get away, get orphaned, get some help.
Good luck, kid.

Lindsay deserves an Oscar for her reality, really. Her true life antics are more riveting and well acted than any role she's ever played.

XX, Gay